What is JEM
It started as an offhand comment trying to get out of a conversation going nowhere.
Someone I hardly knew had been drilling me for nearly half an hour, asking me how I could enjoy the Star Wars sequels.
I should clarify, he meant every movie that wasn’t the original Star Wars.
I should clarify further.
He meant the entirety of all of Star Wars. He began by saying that, between the two of us, he was the real fan because he knew that the sequels were garbage, and that Lucas had ruined his legacy with the prequels, and that Return of the Jedi is a terrible movie that doesn’t understand the characters at all, and that Empire Strikes Back was a ham-fisted effort at capitalizing on the success of the first movie without a real story and forcing a romance between Han and Leia that had no place being there, and that the first movie was only successful because of word of mouth, not because it was actually good because if you really think about it it wasn’t that good and a real fan would know that.
No, I’m not kidding. This is a real interaction I had with a real grown adult trying desperately to convince me to come over to his side and stop loving something that has brought me, my friends, my family, and millions of (apparently fake) fans an unquantifiable amount of joy. It’s actually just one of several conversations I’ve had like this — going back years.
And he was a nice guy. I don’t harbor any bad feelings or anything like that toward him. I guess a bit of bewilderment, but I’ll allow myself that. Because he would not let me out of the conversation, no matter how I explained my love for and the impact of this incredible series on my life. He would not relent, actually demanding I admit I wasn’t a real fan because, and I cannot stress this enough, a real fan wouldn’t actually like any of it.
And the only way I could find out of it was this phrase:
You gotta watch it to love it.
That stuck in my mind, as did the eye roll it received, which, to tell the truth, I can only laugh with a sad sort of sympathy for. How can you enjoy something if you forbid everyone to enjoy anything? It’s not a new problem, but it certainly is a louder one. And that noise can drain all enjoyment from things, the enjoyment of which should be defined only by you.
How many times have I walked out of a movie, rolled credits on a game, listened to an album, finished a book, left the completion of some form of art or media elated, lifted up by the experience I just had, only to have the wind ripped from my sails by discourse. How many sails have been shredded altogether until it’s hard to find any enjoyment in a thing at all? Is that worth it? What are we doing to each other?
And I am not without guilt. I have had moments of trashing a thing only to discover that a person I’m trashing it to loved it. And now I’ve sullied it. I’ve put my hate, my negativity, my inability to enjoy it on top of their enjoyment. It’s like pouring vinegar on a freshly baked cake just because I don’t like the flavor of the cake. Is that cake still made of the sweet ingredients and baked with all the love and intent for someone to enjoy it which was all there before I showed up? Yes. All the things to love about it are still there. But now it tastes like vinegar because I felt the need to make everyone else experience how much I don’t like that cake. What an unnecessary waste of joy. What an utterly useless smattering of pettiness.
So out of this odd but potent image - and conversation - I have been left with that idea: watch to love.
And I have started actively applying it to everything I watch - or play, or read.
Generally, I would say this is the attitude I have always tried to have. My approach to entertainment is to come to it to be entertained. It takes a lot for me to outright hate something, but I am not exempt from finding that something was not made for me. And not everything is for everyone. Which becomes the second part of this whole mission. When we go to entertainment, we should go with the expectation of being entertained. And if we’re not, if something didn’t work for us, then it’s not for us. But by no means does that make it our responsibility to ensure nobody else can enjoy it.
Through this, I have found a need to share this philosophy, this perspective, this approach with others. It’s not perfect, it’s not easy, and it may not be for everyone. But there is no lack of places to talk very clearly about what you did or did not love about something, and that the did nots seem to get way more attention and volume than the dids. And I am so much more interested in what you did love about something than what you didn’t.
That’s the mission of Just Enjoy Media. We’re here, not to say that criticism, critique, even disliking something is wrong. Those are in fact so very necessary for art and storytelling and music and media to grow. But as I have observed it to be, the modern approach seems so much more about having the first, fastest, loudest, strongest opinion - and negativity is easy. Just Enjoy Media is a place for reframing our approach to media conversation. To approach with the goal of enjoying, and if not, to move on to something we did, rather than dwell on what we didn’t.
So watch it to love it. Play it to love it. Go to that thing you’re going to for an experience, with the intention to enjoy it. And if something wasn’t for you, that’s
a) a bummer
and
b) okay
It may be for someone else. Don’t pour vinegar on their cake. That would be a waste of otherwise useful vinegar, which you could put toward making something of value, and would tarnish someone else’s perfectly good piece of cake.
Timothy Drennan
An enjoyer of many flavors of cake.
Less a fan of vinegar, though always surprised at its many uses.
