We don’t do that here

I’m not a natural ringleader. Following the rules somebody else gives me has been my comfort zone for the bulk of my life. As I have gotten older, experience has worn a bit more determination and decisiveness into me, and I find myself able to set my own rules easier than before. But boy is it easier to let someone else do it.

The problem I have found for myself with that mindset is that I am consistently let down by the rules other people make up. Rules can be good, if they’re right. Rules can be cruel if they’re wrong. And worse, people will absolutely do wrong if the rules aren’t defined. If I am making a space for myself, and for others, to come and share what we love, then there’s no reason I can’t set up some structure to make sure the thing being made is done to the standards I want to see.

That’s why I want to have a few rules at JEM.

I realize it’s probably a terrible idea to build a media outlet on the foundation that in order to take part in the conversation I must first immediately lay down rules for everybody involved. Social media experts would definitely tell me that’s against the rules.

But I’m tired of being told what the rules are. I’m making my own.

So if you’re here, this is how it works.

JEM is a place to go on and on about what we love. It’s a place to freely get into all the stuff you have driven everybody else in the house crazy over. We will talk movies, shows, games, books, and we will talk how much we love them until we are blue in the face. But in order to take part in that conversation, here is the rule — or rather, the phrase — to keep in mind:

We don’t do that here.

If it’s negative, if it’s critical, if it’s specific to a letdown or an anger or a controversy or an offense, we don’t do that here.

If something wasn’t for you, you just say that and move on. If someone wants to share why it was for them, you let them. You don’t have to say anything back besides “I’m glad it was for you, that’s really great,” and then get on to what you did like. Either a positive you can find, or change the subject to something you are excited to talk about.

This will be a constant practice and struggle. It’s not going to be easy and we’re probably going to mess it up ourselves. But the aim will be to minimize the negatives and focus on the loves.

Anything that detracts from that, we don’t do.

If someone gets into comments and tries to stir things up, we just don’t do that here. They get one response. And they get an invitation with it. Hey, we don’t do that here. But what do you love? What have you enjoyed? Tell me about that, I’m much more interested in that.

Any further trolling, as trolling is inevitable, just don’t engage. We don’t do that here. If negativity is a fire, “we don’t do that here” is a bucket of water. Ignoring it refuses it any oxygen. It will go out. It might spread somewhere else, but with no one to fan the flames here, it can’t do any harm.

So why? Why make this rule, from the ground up, from the start of everything, why pour all the passion of creating something into designing a restriction?

Honestly, it’s pretty simple.

I’m not interested in what people don’t like.

Conversation about your interests or passions is a bit like an improv, you never know where it’s going or what the other person is going to give you. If you just keep yes and-ing them and the conversation will take you miles. The instant you throw a “no” in there that doesn’t belong, you’ve stopped all the momentum and connection you had going, and could have kept going.

Of course I don’t mean that disagreeing is bad, or that everyone should just be a blind lover of the things they like without any critical eye or opinions of their own. That’s ridiculous. And impossible. It’s just the price of entry to JEM. Do that anywhere else, but not here. This isn’t the place for it. Here, in our comments, on our videos, in any conversations, we don’t need that. That’s not what people will come to JEM for.

And what’s more, we are totally happy to connect with people that don’t have that rule. To bring them on or go to them to talk about the things we’re enjoying. Everyone’s perspective is important, and valuable, and necessary for us to grow together and for art and media to grow.

But as for the House of JEM, we just do that differently here.